Jasmine

I cannot put into words how much I absolutely love that girl. She is the most amazing person I have known. I can't believe how much she has grown in the last year. It is so crazy. The last week or two she has learned a lot, and it really just happens all of a sudden. She grows up too fast, it seems. She understands so much now. I can communicate with her finally, and it feels so great. Of course, just because she knows what I say sometimes, doesn't mean she agrees. She crawls over to the same pot over and over, and I have told her to stay out of it SO many times. It's cute though. She is so persistent, and that is really good. She is very stubborn, and wants things her way. She is very good, and independent, though too. She is a good mix of both, and the way I have done things seems to be working out great. I felt really bad about taking her sippy cup away from her, but she has done very well, and I am so proud of her. She still has a hard time remembering to tip it up, and pick it up with the spout towards her, but I don't think it is because she doesn't know. I think it is because her mind is elsewhere. She is a lot like me, and a lot like her daddy, and I think it has worked out to be a very good mix. She is stubborn and outspoken, even though she can't talk. She loves to be the center of attention, and loves to show off. That would be the good qualities she got from her daddy. From me she has inherited her need to figure things out, and learn. She got her extreme gooberness from me too. I love her so much. I think I am going to go. I'll keep this one short.

I am wondering why, though, some people don't want government run health care. I think that is what Obama is doing. I don't know. I don't get a lot of that stuff, no matter how hard I try. Apparently Russia and Canada have it that way, and people complain about the quality. I don't know. I wish I did. Chris has tried to explain, but I don't get it. Why does it have to be that way? I really like what Obama has said about trying to change how much we pay for it and everything else about the pharmacutical companies, but if he is trying to make government run health care, wouldn't it seem like a good idea, because if it was bad, and hasn't worked other places then why would he do it? I don't know. Whateva. I'm going to bed fo realz now. lata

Ohmyhead

It was way nice out today, but it didn't really hit us right. Jasmine was fussy, I was fussy, oh...it was...no bueno.

And you know what's funny, it's the nice warm sunny days that I miss him the most. Yucky, sad, cloudy days are great, cuz I can wallow, and let me tell ya what! Wallowing is freaking great! It's not like sad, you know? Cuz wallowing is, like, feeling sorry for yourself, and it makes you feel good somehow. Being sad, especially on a sunny day...Now that's when it hurts. I read this somewhere, and it's so so so so SO true. I'll end it with this. I've had a long day.

The goodbyes are what make the hellos so wonderful.
Loving a man far away is hard, no matter what anyone says.
Long distance in itself is difficult.
But what magnifies it even more is the military lifestyle,
the fact that our men are also Marines.
Being an extension of the Corps, we are involved too.
We lead our civilian lives,
but whether or not we believe it,
we also lead extensions of our Marine’s lives.
We learn about the Corps.
We read about it,
speak of it,
and maybe even dream about it.
We know what all of the acronyms mean,
and we don’t even have to think twice when confronted with military time.
We find ourselves swelling with pride
every time we hear the National Anthem
or the Star Spangled Banner.
Every time we see another man in uniform,
our hearts yearn for our own Marine,
and our prayers extend to whoever is loving this man from far away.
For all of you who wake up in the morning,
lay there for a few moments,
trying to swallow the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach
as you wonder where your Marine is,
or how he’s doing…
this is for you.
For all of you who start a countdown the minute he leaves,
and continue to until he is back in your arms again…
this is for you.
For all of you who tear up every time “Far Away” comes on the radio,
or who press repeat when “Come Home Soon” plays in their car…
this one’s for you.
For all of you who see Marine Corps billboards,
ads in the paper,
or commercials on TV
and next notice the tears rolling down your cheeks,
this is for you.
For all the times we sleep with our phones on the loudest possible volume,
just as to not miss the call that just MIGHT come…
For all the times we roll our eyes when another girl is depressed
because she hasn’t seen her guy in a week…
For all the times we hear our Marine’s name mentioned out loud,
and are momentarily frozen
in a trance…
in love.
For all the late nights that we spend alone,
cuddling with our stuffed animals,
wearing our Marine’s USMC sweatshirts and sweatpants,
and clutching the precious dog tags around our necks…
We may feel weak on the inside, but on the outside we’re strong.
We may be drowning in tears on the inside, but on the outside, we are a rock.
We may want to crawl in bed and sleep until our man comes home,
but instead we get up and go on with our daily lives,
with our men in our hearts.
We may feel like we’re slowly dying with each day we spend apart from our men,
but instead we put one foot in front of the other,
and take each day as it comes.
We are strong, and we are proud.
We have more love in our hearts than we ever thought possible,
and for this, we are thankful.
We are thankful for our men and also for each other.
We are Marine gals, and we lean on each other.
Alone we are weak, but together, we are strong.
We help each other, and we survive.
To all you USMC gals out there, hold your head up and be proud.
We are connected, ALWAYS.

Chris is deployed and it sucks!!!

Chris is deployed, and it totally fucking sucks.

I want to crawl in a cave, like a bear, and just hibernate. I'll need to gain a few pounds, lol. I might last a week, if I'm lucky on what I've got.

:( I told myself I was going to go to bed early, when Jasmine did, but I can't get myself to. I think I'm going to sleep on the couch, that way it won't feel so lonely. Just when I though I'd felt it all, this happens, and I realize I hadn't. How can there be so many types of sadness, and loneliness? Boot Camp sucked, and him being thousands of miles across the U.S. sucked, but this? On a boat, God knows where...I'm grateful that he can email, but damn...This is harder than I thought it would be...


On to more happy things.
The funniest thing happened today, and I'll have to post the picture I took on my phone.
fallen asleep on the way home. Apparently she didn't, or she did, but she was still very tired, because we got home and were in the living room, and I went upstairs real fast to use the computer. (Everything was safe downstairs, doors were closed andWe had to get up at 5 am this morning, and Jasmine was totally wiped out, so I thought she'd locked, and the gate was up to the kitchen, and there was nothing she could get hurt on.) So I'm up here and I emailed Chris real fast, then checked my myspace, the entire time listening to Jasmine play downstairs. Well, it got quite, and I figured she just was playing with her feet or something, like she does sometimes, before she thinks of something else to get in to. Well, to be safe I finished up real fast and went down to see how she was doing...This is what I found, lol...

I felt so bad. She was acting great, not fussing, and just being happy so I figured, as soon as she fusses we'll eat and go take a nap. This is totally new of her to fall asleep like this. I think she tried doing it again while I was down there. I put her blanket that she usually sleeps with on the floor and she crawled over to it, and started rocking herself on it like she does when she goes to sleep. It's a little weird to me, but I'm glad she is getting better at sleeping when she needs to.

Well, I'm going to bed. I've procrastinated enough. Here is/are the cutest picture(s) in the world, brought to you in part by me, and the other part by Jasmine. :) (look at her fingers in the first one. She just learned how to cross them, and she managed to make a fist at the same time)

She is totally my daughter, lol. What a ham.

Sickness blows...I Love Lucy

I haven't been that sick in ages.

I mean it.

I don't know what the hell I had, but it was bad. I had a pounding headache. The kind that you can't stand up, bend over, turn your head, or think without losing your balance. I had a HORRIBLE sore throat, I was vomiting, and had diarrhea. So I was pretty dehydrated (temporarily, the E.R. got that one under control) . I ached, I had the chills, and the sweats every time my temperature went up or down. My temperature, without constant tylenol, was like 103.5 average. I can't believe I made it. I am still sleeping, and my throat is still recuperating. Then Jasmine got sick again, with a high fever, sore throat, and a crazy rash. We took her in, Chris and I since he finally is home YAY, and they checked us both for strep so we will see what they have to say Monday. Jasmine and I might be going on meds.

I still can not believe that I was that sick. I couldn't even it. Hell, I still can't eat. In one whole week this is what I have had to eat:

• Hot Pocket and 4 bites of ice cream (puked it up though)
• you know those big melon platters you can get in the deli? I ate about 1/8 of one of those.
• a piece and a half of pizza.
• 1/4 of a $1 pizza
• a bite of some tuna
• a couple small pieces of fruit.

I eat more than that by noon on a normal day. I just can't manage to eat. Everything tastes so gross. I couldn't eat or drink anything while I was sick, and now at least I can drink some things. I have a huge craving for Simply Orange juice, but that's all that still tastes good. I would love to have a scale to see what I'm withering away to. I'm fitting into pants I thought I never would again. It's disgusting. You'd think I'd be happy, lol. My wrists look like Angelina Jolie's in Girl Interrupted.

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One good thing has came out of this though...
I've been watching I Love Lucy. We have the collector's edition, and I'm loving it.
I am officially addicted. I just absolutely love that show. I can't remember the last time I have laughed so much. It's so funny, and witty. I'm actually trying to make this fast, can you believe it, so I can go down and watch some more. This show is like, my favorite, I think even more than Gilmore girls. I just love it so much. I have laughed and cried and the whole bit. It's just so fun to watch. I can't believe it is from the 50's. It's not like bad stuff either. It really puts perspective on what kind of shit is on T.V. now. People being obsessed with shows all about cheating and violence, and sex. Sure it's interesting, I'm not going to deny it, but I can't believe that the only place you can find anything wholesome anymore is...PBS? I don't even know. Disney isn't even something I would want Jasmine to watch all the time now. The Disney Channel is full of little kids running around getting boyfriends and being brats. I want good T.V. back.

If I could live in any time it would be the 50's. I know that the 50's had their sickos too, but these days it's all we care about. The only thing I have came up with that I wouldn't like about then is what we have learned in medicine. But they weren't that far behind. We have learned SO MUCH since then, but they were doing pretty well back then still. Life expectancies were pretty average too. AIDS wasn't a huge epidemic. Drugs weren't out of control. Things were doing alright, and I think I would have loved it. I like how the women just used to stay home and cook and clean and take care of the kids. Now we have this idea burned into us that because we are capable of doing more, that we should, and it really tears me apart, when I am trying to be a good housewife, but I know I could be out there with a job. If it wasn't more expected of me to juggle a real job, and a home life at the same time then just staying home, I don't think, would be so hard.

I am going to look up I Love Lucy stuff on wikipedia now, lol.

toodles

SICK

I'm fucking sick.

And it fucking sucks.

And, yes...That was necessary.

I hate the word necessary.

*Sniff*

That's not a cry-sniff. That's a *sniff* what's-that-smell "sniff."
I just smelled something strange.

Hmmm, damn phone. I drop that thing like hot-potato. erg.

I hate when you update your computer and that shit pops up and asks you to restart your computer every 5 minutes. If I say no, I mean no...Damn. Computers need to be more like humans.

Actually, I take that back.

Yaaawn. I just realized that the only time I post...sorta...or am on blogger in general, is when Chris is not here. That's right. He is...I don't know where actually. He's on a boat. I do know that. Actually, he is on a carrier lol. A big huge boat with a giant-ass runway thing, and even an elevator that can carry a helicopter...Dayyyuuummm.

He hasn't even been gone a day. I'm so bored without him. Oh, but he can email me this time. Woot. I should check my email. I don't think I can describe how exciting it would be if I already got email.

OMG I GOT EMAIL WOOT. how cute though...
"This is my email address. Its boring and gay here but you already knew that. I don’t have too much to say but I love you and Jasmine, good night."

I wrote him back. I'll post it here innn, some other font that I will decide in a second. If you are bored and care to read, go ahead. I was slightly amused reading over it. lol

HI! Ok, sorry boot that. I was really excited to already get an email from you. Awww I miss you already. boo. Not calling you boo, but like boo as in boo-hoo. Yeah anyway. So Caleb said that the steam shit coming out of the sewer things on base is from the water getting treated. Sweet, eh? Jasmine is doing better, but is still a grouch-o. She went to bed early tonight. 'Bout 7. I guess that's not too bad, it just seems weird still for her to be going to bed while it's still light. I was going to go to bed early, but I didn't. I think Caleb found a studio for a thousand. That's pretty sweet. I haven't seen pictures or anything, I just heard him leaving a message on an answering machine, and him telling a buddy of his. I'm a snoop, I know, but I can't think of anything else interesting that has been going on. I made a skillet sensation tonight, and Caleb suggested rice, and it was pretty tasty. I'm going to try and make some from scratch when you get home...If I remember. It seems like you would just cook the noodles, cook the veggies, and then add some kind of pasta sauce. Then we could make more than just two small servings. I'm so glad you have my email address this time. I think I'm going to go, because I don't know how much time you have to read this. You forgot to bring the camera...tsktsk.

When you write me back tell me how much time you get to write me, k. So I know. If you don't say anything else, tell me that! Please :) But, write more than that obviously...hokay love you bye...jk

I love you!!! ttfn ta ta for now. (don't get embarrassed by my silliness, you know you love me)

Jenny-the wifenator-Mendez

Obviously, I went with dark green and bold. *edit* dark green didn't show up, so we went with lime, but the green is for Marines:)

I read it, well skimmed, and I laughed again. Especially the last part. "don't get embarrassed by my silliness, you know you love me"

wahaha

My head hurts suddenly, so I'm going to bed.

Hmmm

I think I have a bladder infection. How shitty would that be?

I'll answer that one for ya...

VERY!

I'm kinda feelin' shitty today anyway.

Kinda shitty, and kinda good to.

It's very conflicting, and it's driving me crazy.

I would have to say I'm having a "bipolar day" lol

I'm happy I'm back in San Diego, but that just means we are that much closer to Chris leaving. My back hurts like hell, and I'm having bladder infection symptoms. Jasmine is learning so much more, and becoming so much more animated lately, and that makes me so happy, you have no idea the feeling unless you are a mom, and have been in this position. But then it makes me so sad, because she too is that much closer to leaving.

Awww, she just woke up and is crying/fussing. She went to bed late tonight, and that always throws her off a little. She's done. It never lasts long. Only a few seconds to a couple minutes maybe. :( Sad, nonetheless.

Anyway. I just want her to stay this little forever, but she wakes up everyday and I'm amazed by how much she changes.

She hugged me last night. I started crying.
We were going through our bedtime routine, and were on the last step. Cuddle time. Usually I just hold her close and rock her and hug her and tell her how much I love her and how happy she makes me and she tries to grab my hair, or the light or a toy, or just puts her hands on my chest and burrows into my chest, telling me she is tired and to just let her go to bed. Well, last night we got to that point, and I picked her up and was patting her back, and rocking her and she put her little arms around mine. One was around my shoulder and neck, and the other wrapped around my arm. It was the warmest feeling I've had in a long time. It's just so different when you get that feeling from a baby. They don't do things for any other reason than impulse. It was an amazing feeling, to say the least.

I'm going now. tata